The way of Mustard.
Inside the mind of a condiment.
In a world where language models are large and budgets are small, the money overlords might need a nudge to invest in a mammalian copywriter.
And that’s OK! On this page you’ll find all the nudging tools you need. Print them out and wave them in the face of anyone who needs convincing. Don’t even tell them what you’re doing.
Mustard’s manifesto.
Mustard thinks that there’s (nearly always) room for humour. Playfulness and silliness; high and low brow. Sometimes eyebrow.
Mustard believes that brands can have fun. That any company – from the Fortune 500 to your local chip shop – can have fun.
Mustard also believes that you can “be playful”, while still taking yourself seriously. In fact – being playful often means people will pay attention when they otherwise wouldn’t have.
Mustard believes in giving people a reason to read, watch, or listen. We also believe in Oxford Commas, but that’s not important right now.
Imaginary questions, real answers.
Can’t I just use AI?
You absolutely can. Claude and pals can generate screeds of copy, cheaply.
However: Claude and pals are not human. They lack physical bodies and lived experience. Large Language Models are literally prediction machines – taking the sum total of human achievement and blending it into a soup. Admittedly, it’s a lot of soup. But it lacks nutrition.
For that unmistakably human voice – emotion, warmth, and a dash of unpredictability (soufflé) – you can’t beat organic, home-grown homo sapiens.
Does Mustard use AI?
For original, warm, and wonderfully weird copy, we don’t think AI comes close. But we’d be naive not to acknowledge the AI tidal wave, and the excited managers with dollar sign eyeballs.
However, simply “using AI” doesn’t mean that you’re going to get good results. You’re gonna need a real-life human (hello) to steer that probability firehose in the direction of fine strategy and excellent taste.
So if your boss is insisting that you get on this AI train, but you suspect you could use some creative human oversight – please give us a shout.
What does it cost?
Totally depends on what you’re after.
Disappointing, I know. I wish I could just flash up a figure that would make us all happy, but jobs are dramatically, seismically different.
The good news is: if you get in touch then we can figure it out. Together!
Does Mustard only write funny stuff?
Nope! Humour is just one technique for engaging your audience. There are at least three others.
Ultimately what we’re trying to do is make your communications as interesting and engaging as possible – without losing sight of what you’re trying to communicate. If humour helps, we’ll use that. If not, we’ll … not.
I don’t think you’re funny?
That’s weird. Everyone else does.
“Ian balances a very down-to-earth style of writing with wit and finesse. His writing is clear and to the point, while also working within the strategy supplied. If you’re looking for someone who can truly capture your brand voice, Ian is your writer.”
Harley Johnston
Harley Johnston Design
Who is Mustard?
Hi there! I’m Ian Haigh. Born and raised in Aotearoa, NZ. Lover of jokes, sworn enemy of boredom.
I became interested in “writing for design and branding” when two things collided:
- I had to write things
- I didn’t want to be bored
It started with some small gigs, which led to larger ones. It would be disheartening if it was the other way around.
My other day job is all about making videos, at Ketchup. I decided to split my writing out into its own site (this one) because those projects were getting lost amongst the video work. And I felt sorry for them.
Thanks for dropping by! I’d love to hear from you, please take a moment to say g’day.
A young Ian, contemplating brand tone-of-voice.